Part II—What Do You Fill Your Empty Spaces With?

In a previous reflection, we discussed the topic of empty spaces. Each of us has empty spaces in our lives, in other words, places where we feel deficient. Perhaps we lack something to do, so we are bored. Perhaps we lack money, and we are jealous for the things that others have. Perhaps we haven’t advanced in our jobs, or our marriages aren’t going well, or even more common, we feel anxious, nervous, tired, or alone. Sometimes, we just aren’t having a good day. We discussed when people feel “full”, in other words when they feel very encouraged, confident and content, that they don’t generally do “stupid” things. People do stupid things when they feel empty, when they have a space that they need to fill.

Today’s reflection poses a question to each of us—what do you fill your empty spaces with? What do you go to when you feel empty?

Most of us go to some form of escape. Drugs, alcohol, pornography and gambling are some of the destructive places some people go. Ice cream or candy are popular choices. They are not as destructive as the options given before, but they certainly aren’t healthy if we go to them regularly. Some people will take their toxicity to friends, in the form of complaint or gossip, which brings destruction into relationships. Others will take it out in the gym, which is one of the best places to go when we feel empty. Some will go to a therapist, which is a good outlet. Others will find a close friend in which to confide, another good outlet.

A great thing to do when we feel empty is go do something fun. Take an hour and go to the beach, or read a good book. A mental health professional once told me that when we feel empty, we should find some time for some “inconsequential activity.” So much of what we do has consequences, and these consequences cause stress and anxiety, and when we don’t get something right, we feel empty. An example of inconsequential behavior is reading a book or a magazine for pleasure. If we finish it, great. If we don’t, there is no consequence. Watching TV or a sports game, taking a walk, or reclining in our favorite chair, these are great things which also carry little to no consequence.

Some people go to a hobby to fill an empty space. Hobbies are good things, as long as they are wholesome, healthy things that don’t cause us to not fulfill obligations to family or work.

The mature Christian goes to the Lord to fill the empty spaces. The words of Psalm 51:8 and others like them are not just beautiful words. They can become lifelines and sources of strength. Ideally, the Lord doesn’t just become a source of refuge in the storm, He isn’t just the place we go to fill our empty spaces. Instead He is the place we go even when we feel full. Filling the spaces in our life with the Lord—through prayer, worship, Scripture, acts of charity—is a good thing.

If we know that we all have empty spaces at times, the good encourager learns to sense when a friend is in an empty space. Here is a great place to offer some encouragement in the form of words of reassurance to build someone up. And when possible, it is a great time to offer some wholesome distraction, like inviting someone to lunch, or to go for a walk, or a few hours at the beach, or even a good phone conversation.

Empty spaces are part of every life. There is no one who feels full all the time. Most of us have a place we “go” when we feel empty. The challenge is to fill our empty spaces with healthy things, rather than destructive and sinful things. And the challenge as encouragers is to be involved in the lives of people around us to the degree that we are in the position to help fill their empty spaces through our presence and our encouragement.

Lord, thank You for the things that bring fulfillment to my life and make me feel “full”. (list some of them) Lord, You know that there are time when I feel empty, there are challenges in my life that make me feel empty (list some of them). Fill me with joy and gladness, so that my empty spaces are filled with the joy and hope that come from You. Give me the eyes to see and the heart to discern those around me who may feel empty today. Give me the words to help fill them with encouragement. In my low moments, keep me away from sinful and destructive thoughts and behaviors. Fill me with You at all times and in all places. Amen.

Fill your empty spaces with healthy things. And encourage those around you to do the same. Most of all, fill your empty spaces with the Lord!