But now thus says the Lord, He who created you, O Jacob, He who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine. When you pass through the waters I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
Isaiah 43:1-3
God does not want us to live in shame. He wants us to live with joy, to feel a sense of freedom and hope. That is why the church offers us the sacrament of confession, to get rid of shame and to reclaim hope. If you’ve never been to confession, or it’s been a while, I encourage you to make an appointment with your priest, so that you can rid yourself of shame and reclaim joy.
The best way to think of confession is to imagine your life as a book, filled with all the things you have done in your life history. There will be joyful things, challenging things, sad things, and some shameful things. The weight of sin wears on us, it weighs us down. Confession provides a way in this life to shed the weight of guilt and failure. It provides a way to own up to things we’ve done before God in this life, so that we won’t have to own up for them at the last judgment. It gives us a way to get direction and counsel on how to change bad habits. It gives us a way to tear the pages of shame out of our book of life and to replace them with pages of repentance, ways to correct things we’ve done to hopefully avoid doing them in the future. I’m frequently asked what is the thing I like most about being an Orthodox Christian. And I answer “confession,” not because I enjoy going to confession, (I get nervous just like everyone else, no one likes admitting their sins and shortcoming) I’m just glad we have the opportunity to shed sin, shame and guilt as we go, rather than having it accumulate for a lifetime.
If you have never been to confession before or it’s been a long time, the best way to approach the sacrament is to address things that are in the far past that you feel ashamed of. I often tell middle-aged people who have never gone to confession, just look back at your life and take out the big ticket items—if you drank too much in college, just say I drank too much in college, no need for specific details. Many people will have drinking, drugs, and promiscuity in their past. They aren’t a present problem. Thus, own up to these things from the past, be as specific as you need to be, and then you move on from this. Next, bring to mind the things that are weighing you down at present, the current struggles, and this is where a conversation will take place about repentance, how to work on the current challenges to bring one’s life more into alignment with the way Christ wants us to live.
At the end of confession, the priest offers a prayer of absolution, which indicates to the person going to confession, that they need not have any further anxiety about the things that they have confessed, but are to go away in peace. Many people find peace and indeed go away feeling lighter. Others struggle with this, they struggle with forgiving themselves. I counter this with a few simple, logical questions:
~Who is greater, you or God? (The answer obviously is God)
~Do you believe that God can forgive you? (Hopefully, a person who has come to confession believes that or they would not have come. For the person who is not sure if God can forgive them, the answer is that He can. He preached about forgiveness. He offered forgiveness, even during His Crucifixion).
~If God who is greater than you can forgive you, then you must be able to forgive yourself. And this is true. Part of our faith in God’s ability to forgive us means that we must accept His forgiveness and also forgive ourselves.
It is true that even confessing certain things doesn’t always rid us of our personal guilt and shame. Sometimes this is a process that takes time. It takes time to feel washed by the grace of God.
Thankfully the church offers two other sacraments that we are to receive regularly, which aid us in being cleansed not only of sin, but of associated guilt over sin. The sacrament of Holy Unction, which will be offered on Holy Wednesday, affords us the opportunity to receive cleansing through prayer and oil, and to remember the stories of great saints who at one point were great sinners.
The church offers us the sacrament of Holy Communion, for sustenance. St. Peter received Holy Communion from Jesus at the last supper, and shortly after denied Him three times. The rest of the disciples received Communion and all except for John abandoned Jesus only hours later. Holy Communion is not the reward for the perfect but the medicine for the sick and imperfect. That’s why we approach with fear of God, a recognition of our sinfulness, but also with faith and with love, our hope in His mercy. God knows we will fall again and again. Holy Communion hopefully gives us the strength and the motivation to get up each time we fall. We have the opportunity to receive Holy Communion every Sunday, and on feastdays. During Great Lent, there are also opportunities to receive Holy Communion at the Pre-Sanctified Liturgy offered on Wednesdays and Fridays during Great Lent.
Reading the Bible is important for many reasons. I’ve heard the Bible called “God’s love letter to us.” Yes, it is filled with history, theology and guidance. It is also a great source of encouragement. There are so many instances of short passages that provide comfort and reassurance. One comes from Isaiah 43:1-3. Isaiah was a prophet who prophesied between the 8th and 7th centuries B.C. This was a time when the Northern and Southern Kingdoms of Israel were under attack from the Assyrians and eventually were exiled to Babylon. Chapters 40-55 of Isaiah reassure the exile Israelites that better days will be ahead, that they have not been forgotten by God. The Prophet writes with conviction but also with reassurance:
But now thus says the Lord, He who created you, O Jacob, He who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine. When you pass through the waters I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
Psalm 147:4 says He determines the number of the stars, He gives to all of them their names. Each of us has a name that is known to God. We may cross off names of people from our list of friends, but God will not cross us off His list, at least not as long as we are alive. (Yes, if we are numbered among the goats at the judgment—see Matthew 25:31-46—we will be sent away into eternal punishment, but right now, if we are alive to read this message, there is still time to correct things). He knows our names. We are His.
Have mercy on me, O God. Have mercy on me.
I am the man who fell among thieves, even my own thoughts; they have covered all my body with wounds, and I lie beaten and bruised. But come to me, O Christ my Savior, and heal me. (Canon of St. Andrew of Crete, Ode One, Trans. by Fr. Seraphim Dedes)
You are worthy of God’s love. God knows your name. You are His.
