Then Peter came up and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.”
Matthew 18: 21-22
One of the biggest challenges to living the Christian life relates to forgiveness, specifically being unable to forgive someone. Jesus speaks on forgiveness often in the Bible. In Matthew 7:1-7, He speaks about forgiveness, judgment and mercy:
“Judge not, that you not be judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get.” (Matthew 7:1-2) To the degree we judge others, that is the degree to which God will judge us. If we judge others unworthy of forgiveness, we risk God judging us to be unworthy of forgiveness.
“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is a log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” We are so quick to judge the shortcomings of others, whether it is something they have done towards us, or done in general, that we fail to see our own shortcomings. Many people love a good scandal, and we are quick to condemn something scandalous that someone has done, but while not examining our own actions. Most of us live rather private lives, compared to celebrities and politicians, and that’s probably a good thing, because if our private lives were under the public microscope, they might be judged as scandalous as well.
In Matthew 18:23-35, we read the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant. The story is about a man who owed his master more than he could ever repay, and so the master ordered him thrown into prison until he could pay the debt, which would never be able to. The man besought his master for forgiveness and was forgiven the entire amount. On the way home, the forgiven man saw a man who owed him a small sum of money. He ordered him thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. The truth is that in prison, one would never be able to pay off a debt, so this would essentially be a life sentence. When the man asked for forgiveness, the forgiven man refused. People saw this and went to the master of that man and told him what had happened. The master was angry with the man he had forgiven and threw him in prison. He was angry, and probably sad, that he had forgiven the man so much, and yet he could forgive so little. The lesson of the parable is that if we add up all the things we have done against God, the things that people have done against us would pale in comparison. If we expect and hope that God will forgive us so much, we have to be able to forgive the “little” (by comparison) that others have done towards us. And if we cannot do that, then how can we expect God to forgive us.
When Peter asked Jesus how many times he had to forgive someone, intimating that he thought seven times was enough. Jesus said “seventy times seven” was the required number. In other words, it was a number so large, that the intention of Jesus is for us to be almost infinitely generous with forgiveness.
In Psalm 130: 3-4, we pray “If Thou, O Lord, shouldst mark iniquities, Lord, who could stand? But there is forgiveness with Thee.” There is no relationship that would last if our iniquities were marked. Surely, if God was keeping track of my sins, no way would I be able to have a relationship with Him. No one can survive a marriage, a long-term job, a long-term friendship, or any other meaningful relationship without forgiveness. We have long-term relationships not because we don’t do anything wrong, but because others are willing to forgive us and others are willing to forgive us.
Finally, the prayer we pray the most often is the “Lord’s Prayer,” and in this prayer, we pray “forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Some people interpret this line as “God forgives, we are to forgive.” But it is actually stronger than that. It means “We ask God to forgive us, just as (in the same way) that we forgive others.” How can we hope for the forgiveness of God when we can’t extend forgiveness to others?!
Forgiving others is a challenge to everyone. Because it hurts when others hurt us. It’s not so easy to forgive someone who has hurt you. Forgiving others does not mean that you have to trust them again. I recently heard a priest talk about forgiveness and he said that when you forgive someone, you stop talking about what they have done. It doesn’t mean that you restore someone who has wronged you to a position of trust (this is hard, when you are the one who has done wrong, most of us have lost friends because of things we’ve done wrong), but it means you stop talking about it. If you are still talking about a transgression someone has done, it means that you haven’t forgiven them.
To enter into the kingdom of God requires the forgiveness and mercy of God over our many sins. To receive the forgiveness and mercy of God requires us to forgive and be merciful to others. Forgiveness and mercy are difficult things to offer, especially when we’ve been hurt. And this is why forgiving others is one of the greatest challenges there is in being a Christian.
Lord, thank You for Your generosity of forgiveness. Please continue to forgive my sins, and have mercy on me now, and at Your awesome judgment seat. Soften my heart so that I may forgive the sins of others. Help me to let go of my anger towards those who have wronged me. Help me find peace in my own heart. When reconciliation is possible, grant me the ability to reconcile with others and for others to reconcile with me. And when it is not possible, help me to not bear ill will against others, and for them not to bear ill will against me. Forgive me Lord, and have mercy on me. Amen.
There is a saying “to err is human, to forgive is divine.” If we expect to receive the Divine forgiveness from God, then we must offer the human forgiveness to one another. Learning how to forgive prepares us to stand before the Divine God at His awesome judgment seat.
