All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep His covenant and His testimonies.
Psalm 25:10
No one can meet a stranger and say upon first meeting “I love you.” If they did, this would not be a true statement. Because love doesn’t just happen. Love takes time, and is built.
The most basic building block of any relationship is respect. If I didn’t know you and you didn’t know me, we should be able to co-exist in the same space without anyone getting hurt. This is basic respect. This is one of the reasons I don’t understand domestic violence. There can’t be love in a home where there isn’t basic respect, where people aren’t sure if they are safe.
After establishing respect, the next step on the path to love is be common interest. If you spend time together with someone, you start to form a bond of friendship.
As this bond is solidified, trust begins to form. You start to count on the other person, for friendship, for laughs, for fellowship on a consistent basis.
And then comes the big step, vulnerability. Someone steps out on a limb and confides something that makes him or her vulnerable, a weakness. Someone could talk about a fear or a failure. When the other person responds with empathy and compassion, making it safe to be vulnerable, this is when love begins to take root.
It is difficult to be vulnerable, no question about that. But this is what makes love possible. When I think about my family, my close friends and my spiritual father, the common denominator for all of these very loving relationships is that I am comfortable being vulnerable in them. I can just be me. I don’t have to try to be someone I’m not. I don’t have to be embarrassed by my failures and struggles.
I wrote recently about establishing authentic relationships, and this is the key in establishing them. That is why love is the first of the fruit, because we can’t get anywhere with each other or with the Lord without it. And without vulnerability, to the Lord and at least to a few other people, we can’t experience or express love as God intended for us to experience and express it.
I guess there are two more precursors to love and those would be humility and courage. It takes humility to be vulnerable, to admit “I’m not all that.” It takes courage to step out on the limb and be vulnerable. If we are cultivating fruit of the Spirit in us, we have to cultivate courage, humility and vulnerability because these are the seeds from which love grows.
Lord, thank You for the many gifts You have given to me. Help me to be a person of humility and courage. Allow these to lead me to vulnerability. And through vulnerability, may I grow to love You and others and may others grow to love me. Help me to form relationships where I feel safe being vulnerable. Grow bonds of trust within my relationship with (mention spouse, children, friends). Allow love to grow and flourish. Bless my relationships. And most especially allow my relationship with You to grow and blossom. Amen.
Focus on forming authentic, safe, trusting, loving relationships.
