Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. And when they saw Him they worshiped Him; but some doubted.
Matthew 28:16-17
One big challenge to faith, and indeed to life, is doubt. Doubt is actually a normal part of life. We make so many decisions based on faith rather than on knowledge. What does that mean? A high school senior who applies to college applies perhaps to ten colleges. Maybe he or she visits all ten. However, there are thousands of colleges in the United States. No one is going to have substantial knowledge about all or even a large percentage of them. So, a potential student makes a choice based more on faith, that the ten schools they looked at and the one they eventually choose are better than the thousands that were not looked at. There is little doubt when it comes to knowledge. I know that 2 + 2 equals 4. There is no doubt about that. However, when a choice is made on faith, there is room for doubt. Again, going to the example of the college student, there may be a nagging doubt, “should I have looked at an 11th school, and not just 10?”
When it comes to our Christianity, there is lots of opportunity for doubt. The world assaults us with messages that run contrary to Christianity. Christ tells us to divest ourselves of excess. The world tells us to acquire as much as possible. And because we see more advertising for excess and less for simplicity—after all, we don’t see Jesus appearing in any commercials—we might wonder, “what if the world is right and Jesus is wrong?” I haven’t seen any commercials for heaven, have you? But there are plenty of commercials advertising cruises, expensive cars, and places to eat out. There might be an occasional commercial about loving our neighbor, but rarely will we see anything about loving God. Heaven is the goal and the two great commandments are the path, and yet we see no advertising for any of this. What if this stuff isn’t true? There is actually plenty of room for doubt.
Faith is belief in something not fully seen or fully understood. We don’t doubt things we can see or things we can understand. But we don’t have faith in them either. Faith, however, brings a depth to life that knowledge cannot bring. If we have lots of knowledge and no faith, that actually places us at the center of our own universe, which at the end of the day, or end of life, will lead to emptiness. Not believing in anything bigger than ourselves makes us the biggest thing, which ends in narcissism, a love of ourselves. If we believe in something bigger than ourselves, that will require faith, because we will not be able to comprehend what is greater than us. It comes down to two choices—either there is nothing greater than us, and therefore we need knowledge but have little need for faith; or there is something greater than us, that we need to have faith in because we will never fully comprehend that which is beyond us.
I choose to believe that we cannot possibly be the center of the universe, because there are mysteries beyond our comprehension. We can comprehend what the sun does, and what gravity is, for example, but we can’t comprehend how either was created. Same with wind, water and life. We can study all of these, but how can we comprehend the creative hand behind any of them. Again, either there is a force at play (God) who is greater than us, or we are the masters of everything, and clearly we are not.
The Bible references doubt in many places. Let me highlight three. First, in the Parable of the Sower (Luke 8:5-15), Jesus tells us that a sower (Him) sows a seed (the Word of God) to everyone. The seed, however, while indiscriminately sown into soil by the sower, falls into different kinds of soil, which are the hearts of those who hear the word. Some of the seed fell along the path, meaning there are people who hear the word of God, but they don’t cultivate rich soil. The devil comes to these and creates doubt. He comes “and takes away the word from their hearts, that they may not believe and be saved.” (Luke 8:12)
Most of us know the story of Thomas, the Apostle, affectionately known as “Doubting Thomas.” When Jesus appeared to the disciples on the evening after the Resurrection, as told in John 20:19-31, Thomas was not with them. When they shared with him that they had seen the Lord, he said he would not believe “unless I see in His hands the print of the nails, and place my finger in the mark of the nails, and place my hand in His side.” (John 20:25) The passage goes on to say that “Eight days later, His disciples were again in the house and Thomas was with them.” (John 20:26) This led to the encounter with Jesus where Jesus invited Thomas to “not be faithless, but believing.” (20:27) We actually have to give Thomas some credit. There were eight days when Thomas could have left, and given up on Jesus and the whole thing. But he stayed, and eight days later, he was still with the group. I have actually started calling Thomas “Faithful Thomas,” because despite his doubts, he stuck around.
The other example of doubt comes from Matthew 28:16-17. Jesus called the disciples to come to a mountain. It was on this mountain that He was going to commission them to be Apostles, to go out into all nations and make disciples. We read that when they saw Him, they worshipped Him, but some doubted. Doubt didn’t deter them from worshipping. They were able to worship, despite doubting. AND, it didn’t deter Jesus from commissioning them to take the Gospel to all nations. Jesus wasn’t turned off by their doubts. He still made them leaders of the church. There are two lessons here—show up and worship, even when you have doubts. And Jesus still wants us, doubts and all. He knows that doubt is part of faith.
Obviously, there are lines between uncertainty and clarity, between fear and wise precaution, whether we are talking about faith in Christ, faith in others, faith in ourselves, and faith in the decisions we make—to go to college, to choose a career, to choose a place in which to live, to choose a person to marry, etc. We make all of these decisions not based on comprehensive knowledge, which means that we make them based on faith. The choice to follow Christ is also based on faith.
Heavenly Father, thank You for the knowledge that I have of so many things. In the things where I lack knowledge, in the decisions I have to make without a lot of knowledge, help me to have faith—in myself, in others, in the experience of others, and most especially in You. In my Christian journey of faith, be with me in the times when I experience doubt. Surround me in these times with people who are filled with spiritual confidence. Silence the voice of the devil and distraction that try to put doubt into each of us. Help me to have the strength to show up for You, even in my moments of doubt. Amen.
Show up for God, even when you have doubt. And don’t beat yourself up about doubt, because doubt is a part of life, and working through doubt actually strengthens faith.
