And if you be unwilling to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
Joshua 24:15
A priest made a profound comment to me recently. He said that the Christian faith is always only one generation away from extinction. That is because if we don’t share and spread the faith through our children, it dies with us. Having served as a priest for nearly twenty-seven years, I can say with certainty that the amount of baptisms I celebrate compared with how many baptized children actually stay involved in the church is not a great ratio. I’ve baptized over 400 children in twenty years I have served my parish. If each child came to church each Sunday with his parents, and each family had two kids and two parents, we’d have over 800 people in church each week! Our church seats 300 people. We’d need almost three churches just to accommodate those people who’ve had children in the past twenty years, not including all those who had children before I arrived.
The ratio of baptisms that happen and baptisms that actually “stick” is probably 30-35%. And what about the 65-70% that don’t come back. It is likely the faith in those families dies with the parents. That’s because if we don’t give children a foundation in the faith, they have nothing to build on. Yes, many children will stop going to church in college, but if they’ve been raised in the church, they have something to come back to. Even if they “drop out” for many years, when they get married and have their own children, they will remember that they spent their childhood in the church and they will find their way back, at least some of them. If there was no foundation, there will be nothing to come back to.
Fifty years ago, Sunday mornings were sacred. Even Sunday afternoons. Faith and family was the theme of each Sunday—morning worship, afternoon meal with the family. It’s not that way anymore, and that’s not a good thing. So many people invest heavily into sports, with the dream that they (or their kid) will be the exceptional athlete who will make it professionally. A small percentage of high school athletes actually play in college, and a miniscule number play professionally. The number where we are all equal is that we will all stand before the awesome judgment seat of Christ and defend our faith and our life before Him. And if there is no faith to defend, it’s hard to imagine that reckoning going well.
If we want our children to grow up as solid Christians, it is essential that they are reading Scripture and praying on a daily basis. Otherwise, Christianity becomes a compartment and when life gets busy, that compartment doesn’t get opened often. There are sports obligations that creep into many Sundays and if that describes your family situation, it becomes necessary to get creative and intentional in making sure that children are worshipping at least some of the time. It is also critical that children are taught in the home to pray and read Scripture, even if they attend church every week. If we want our children to grow up as solid Christians, it is essential that they are reading Scripture and praying on a daily basis. Otherwise, Christianity becomes a compartment and when life gets busy, that compartment doesn’t get opened often.
If you are in a situation where your child participates in sports every Sunday, meaning that they are unable to worship on any Sunday, there is a serious choice to be made—are they going to get exposure to Christ on a regular basis, on an occasional basis or never? This is what makes this a challenge—the world doesn’t slow down and respect a day for worship anymore.
Another reason we have such a hard time guiding our children toward salvation is that we are not on that journey ourselves. It is important that our kids see us parents as people of prayer, people committed to worship, people who are obedient to the commandments and people who are generous when it comes to serving. Even more than these, it is essential that our children see that we love the Lord, we value a relationship with Him, that we believe in Christ, and that the things we do in life, and with them, reflect this love for Christ.
The greatest influence on a child is parents. That’s why the verse from Joshua 24:15 rings with such resonance. Each person ultimately makes a choice what “god” they will serve. For a child, that choice is heavily affected by the choice that the parents are making and the example that they are setting. Parents have a direct effect on their children’s views on politics, morals, language, time management, work ethic and especially faith. For those who have children, we will have to account to the Lord how we passed the faith down to them. Yes, when our children are grown and gone, they have to make their own choice to believe or not. Eventually the faith must become their own. Just like other choices they will make once they leave the nest. However, it is our responsibility as parents to give them a connection to faith, and then they decide for themselves. If they have not been raised with a strong Christian faith, or some kind of foundation, then there is no choice to make. They won’t know Christ, how will they be able to choose Him? One of the weaknesses, if you will, about Orthodoxy, is that there is no class requirement in order to be baptized or Chrismated. Children are baptized as infants, and for some of them, it is the last time they are ever in church. As parents, when we make the decision to baptize our children, we are essentially promising to raise them in the church. It is not just some cultural custom or cute rite of passage for our babies to be baptized. It is a sacred pledge on the part of parents and Godparents to connect their children to Christ. At a baptism service, the questions are asked “Do you unite yourself to Christ?” and “Do you believe in Christ?” When the church was baptizing adults many centuries ago, each adult needed to answer this question for himself or herself after a two-year period of preparation. Our children, baptized as infants, do not have the capacity to understand or answer these questions. When a parent presents a child for baptism, and a Godparent answers these questions on behalf of the children, there is a sober expectation that that child will be raised in the church by the parents and Godparents to the point they can answer that question for themselves.
The statement in Joshua 24:15 is indeed a bold one that we need to make if we are serious about our faith and committed to passing it to our children—if we say “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord,” that’s going to come with sacrifice, and probably some creativity in the world today. But what it requires is discipline and consistency, and most of all, a love for Christ, and that’s what makes it a challenge.
Lord, thank You for the gift of children. They are certainly gifts from You. Help those of us who are parents to raise our children to know and to love You. Help us to negotiate the challenges, especially those related to other activities our children are encouraged to participate in, which take our focus away from You. Help all parents as they struggle to raise their children in the faith. Guide those who have fallen away back to You. Help all those who are trying to put a foundation of faith underneath their children. Amen.
It’s hard to raise a child as a Christian today. For those who are struggling to do it, keep on trying. And for those who are not trying at all, part of our accounting before the Lord will be what did we do to give the faith to our children. Before we “go, make disciples of all nations,” it is critical that we make sure that the children in our own home are on their way to becoming committed disciples of Christ.
