Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.
Hebrews 13:2
At St. John the Baptist Greek Orthodox Church in Tampa, where I have served for the past twenty years, we have identified five core values—love, worship, community, learning and service. We make our decisions based on these five values. I want to focus on the core value of “community” for this reflection. All five of these core values are important. They are lenses through which we see our parish. In any church, it is necessary for parishioners to see themselves as a community, a group of individuals united by a common faith and a common purpose. If someone only goes to church to worship, and never interacts with anyone else, then it is hard to see them as part of the community. And if all we do is worship and never associate with anyone else, our worship might actually become self-centered rather than God-centered. Jesus summarized the entire 613 commandments of the Old Testament Law into two—to love God and to love our neighbor. We cannot love God and ignore our neighbor. These two commandments go hand-in-hand. In the context of our church community, it is necessary that we interact with our fellow parishioners, because this, first and foremost, is the way we show love for our neighbor.
Love shown in a church community takes on many different forms. First, there is the welcome. Unless you were raised in the same church and never went to another one, everyone has had the experience of being a first-time attendee. People who have come from other churches have probably experienced a sense of community in their former parish and the first time in a new church will probably feel daunting, and at the very least, a little bit lonely. Some parishes have welcome ministries, specific people who greet and welcome newcomers. Actually, everyone should be part of the welcome ministry. It is incumbent on every parishioner to welcome someone who is new, invite them to sit at your table at the coffee fellowship hour that generally follows Sunday Divine Liturgy.
A second way a community welcomes people is to make sure that they get connected in the community. If someone is a senior, for instance, invite them to the seniors’ group. If someone has children, make sure they get connected to Sunday school and youth programs. Introduce people to the ministry heads and help make that connection. It is important to help people make connections with people their age, to get children connected to Sunday school and youth programs, etc.
Community members help one another. In the aftermath of the recent Hurricane that has hit the Tampa Bay area where I serve, parishioners that need help have had a place where they can ask for it, and parishioners who are able to help have been sent to those who need it. This builds community, even in time of disaster.
Community members keep tabs on one another. They let people know if someone is sick and needs help. One really important thing that people often forget—reach out to people who haven’t been to church for a few weeks and find out what’s going on. Not a few months, but a few weeks. Sometimes it takes encouragement from others to keep coming. Sometimes people wonder “if I don’t come for a few weeks, will anyone notice?” Just a quick phone call or text might make the difference in someone staying in a community.
Community members see themselves as part of a greater community. The members of a Greek Orthodox parish are connected to a Metropolis and the Archdiocese. There are often other parishes in their local area. Community members support the greater church.
And even more important, community members represent Orthodoxy to their local area. They set an example as Christians, showing Christ’s love to all. We think of missionary work as requiring us to go to a third-world country. In reality, the missions field begins right outside the doors of our church, sharing Christ with those who do not know Him. My Spiritual Father has spoken of “CFU vs. CFO churches,” meaning communities that see themselves only as “church for us” (themselves) or “church for others,” with an eye on bringing others to Christ. When Jesus commissioned the Apostles to take the Gospel to all nations, He was endorsing the “CFO” model.
When we become part of a church community, we do so with some expectations. Our parishes are not organizations to which we belong. They are organisms—they live, breathe, laugh, cry, are successful, are wounded. When we join a church, we become part of the body. Some may see themselves as part of the brain, or the heart, or the hands or the feet.
No parish is perfect. That’s because no person is perfect. Sometimes personal (and professional) relationships in the community go awry. A misunderstanding, a bad business agreement, a clash of ideas, there are innumerable ways that people can upset one another, leading people to leave the church. Most of us know a situation where this has happened. This is where forgiveness, reconciliation, and humility come in. We can all do a better job at part of a church community. It starts with understanding that we are part of an organism, and having our eyes open to those who are new, those who have fallen away, those who need help and even those who appear like they are okay. Being part of a community means paying attention to everyone in the community.
Lord, thank You for my parish community. Help me to see myself not only as an individual, but as part of a whole body. Give me eyes to see someone who is new, someone who needs help, someone who needs to be invited back, someone who needs to be connected, and give me a heart that desires to serve them. Amen.
I initially titled this reflection “I don’t feel welcome at church,” because it was a request of a Prayer Team member to write on this topic. I changed the title to “Help People Feel Welcome and Comfortable at Church” because this is the tune all need to be singing. When we all sing this tune, we won’t have people saying “I don’t feel comfortable,” and that should be the goal for all of us. Everyone feels comfortable as a part of the community.
