Love never ends.
I Corinthians 13:8
One of the most beautiful Traditions in Orthodoxy is that we remember those who have fallen asleep. We call them “The Church Triumphant.” In every Divine Liturgy, when the Holy Gifts are being prepared, the priest takes particles (crumbs) from the loaf of prosphora (that is the name of the bread used to prepare Holy Communion) and commemorates names of those who are alive (whom we call “The Church Militant”) and those who have passed away (“The Church Triumphant”). When all of the bread is put into the chalice, all of these particles are mixed together, they become one. This is a beautiful expression that love never ends, they are never forgotten, we all remain one in the blood of Christ, both Church Militant and Church Triumphant.
On the stole worn by the priests and bishops, there are traditional two rows of fringe at the bottom. One is for the Church Militant and one is for the Church Triumphant. Every time a priest or bishop vests for a service, whether it is the Divine Liturgy, or a wedding or a funeral, baptism, etc. and puts on the stole, the entirety of Church is present—those who are alive and those who have passed on. Even in privately exercising the priestly office—outside of services, such as when a priest hears a confession, or places his stole over someone to pray for them, the entirety of the church is included.
Love never ends. We can still express love and feel love for our grandparents, parents, relatives, children and friends who are no longer with us. The Church encourages that. It consistently honors them. The Church encourages us to offer memorial services for those who have passed away. It sets aside four specific Saturdays each year, called “The Saturdays of Souls” and calls us to come and bring all of the names of our loved ones to be included in a memorial service. (The four Saturdays are the two Saturdays before Great Lent, the first Saturday of Great Lent [so there are three Saturdays in a row] and the Saturday before Pentecost.) Before my dad passed away in 2014, he wrote down all the names of our family on both his side and my mom’s side and gave me a piece of paper and asked that I remember them on the Saturdays of Souls. He then pointed out that he had intentionally left some space at the top of the list, as he said “to add your mother when she dies, and one day to add your name and to give this list to your son.” My mom passed away in 2021, and her name has been added to the list. What a beautiful expression that my dad did, to say essentially that since love never ends, we should never forget the people in our family, including his father and others that I never knew, others that might have been forgotten.
There is a petition offered in many services (though not at the Divine Liturgy), which says Again we pray for the blessed founders of this holy and sacred church, and for all Orthodox forebearers who have gone before us, who here and elsewhere have been laid to rest and for the Orthodox everywhere. At the Saturday of the Souls, we pray a general petition for those who have fallen asleep, for Emperors, Patriarchs, Hierarchs, Priests, Hieromonks, Deacons and monastics, and for our parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, spouses, children, relatives and friends from the beginning of time until these latter days. And finally, in the Divine Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom, the Prayer of Consecration concludes with the phrase Once again we offer to You this spiritual worship for those who have reposed in the faith: forefathers, fathers, patriarchs, prophets, apostles, preachers, evangelists, martyrs, confessors, ascetics and every righteous spirit made perfect in the faith. Those who have lived a life of faith are not forgotten by the church.
When our parents pass away, we do not have to say “I do not have parents.” I still have two parents, they are just not alive on earth. I can no longer physically see them. But I hold images of them in my mind, memories of them in my heart, and I remember lessons I learned from them in my life. And this is possible because love never ends.
O God of spirits and of all flesh, who trampled down death and vanquished the power of the devil, giving life to Your world. The same Lord give rest to the soul(s) of Your servant(s) (mention the names of anyone you love who has fallen asleep) in a place of light, a place of repose, a place of refreshment, where there is no pain, sorrow or suffering. Gracious and loving Lord, forgive every sin they committed in word, deed or thought, for there is no one who live and does not sin. You alone are without sin. Your righteousness is an everlasting righteousness and Your word is truth. [Lord, thank You for the opportunity that I had to know and to love (bring to mind the names of anyone you are remembering). Help me to remember what I learned from them, to continue to love them, and to continue to feel loved by them, and comforted by their memory] For You are the Resurrection and the life and the repose of Your departed servants (names), O Christ our God, and to You we give glory, with Your Father who is from everlasting, and Your All-Holy, Good and Life-Giving Spirit, now and forever, and to the ages of ages. Amen. (From the Orthodox Memorial Service, the words between [and] are mine.
Love never ends. We can still love those who have passed on. And when we pass on, we will still love them. We can also love God at all times, in this life and beyond this life.
